Republican Del. Neil Parrott thinks that if the General Assembly passes transgender equality legislation that men will dress up as women in order to peek over the stall at women. Really, this is how his mind works. Even though, of course, this is not what the bill does. But hey, crazy doesn’t stop for truth.
The only way I could imagine how Del. Parrott came to this brilliant conclusion is if this is what he would do. Apparently, transgender inequality is all that stands between him dressing up like a woman so he can peek over the top of the stalls at women in the bathroom.
I’ve been scratching my head trying to figure out how this could work. I’ve been watching Friday Night Lights lately–it’s a show about a high school football team in a down-and-out Texas town–and this is sort of how I envision a show guest starring Parrot would go:
Landry Clarke (math geek): Man, I sure wish I could see Tyra nekkid.
Tim Riggins (fullback): Dude. Been there, done that.
Neil Parrott: I know! Why don’t we dress up as cheerleaders and follow her into the bathroom and peek over the stalls.
Matt Saracen (QB): (shy and somewhat incoherent) Uh, uh guys, I, I’m not sure that’s a real good idea.
Smash Williams (tailback): The Smash does NOT do drag.
Neil Parrott: C’mon guys. It’ll be fun. Just like powderpuff.
Landry: Shoot Matt, you’re always puttin’ down ideas about how to get a girl to like me.
Coach Eric Taylor: (walks on field) Hey Matt, what’s goin’ on over here?
Matt: Uh, uh hey coach. We’re, uh, just thinkin’ about dressin’ up as girls so we can see ’em naked in the ladies room.
Eric: Well shoot, Matt. I know my daughter won’t put out for you but that’s just really, really dumb. I thought you were smarter than that.
Neil Parrott: C’mon Coach. Everybody’s doin’ it in Cumberland!
Jason Street (quadriplegic ex-QB): I’m a quad in a wheelchair and I’m not that desperate.
Women who serve in the House of Delegates, watch out! Because if this bill passes, you better keep eyes on Neil.